How can I pick myself up again after my husband neglected me and drove me to commit a sin, and then the matter became known and a divorce occurred, and now, after my husband has returned to God, I cannot continue my life with him despite attempts at reconciliation, so how can I forgive myself and overcome this ordeal?

You must repent to Allah from the sinful relationship, especially if the wife invited you to commit indecency. If the marriage was conducted without a guardian (wali), it is invalid and must be annulled, and the contract renewed in a legitimate way, especially after the husband's repentance and commitment. The children are attributed to the husband if he believed the marriage to be valid. If the marriage was valid, then hold on to your husband and repent to Allah, and know that the righteousness of children is linked to their upbringing under the care of both parents, and seeking a divorce without valid reason is forbidden.