What is the ruling regarding divorce occurring in the following cases: If the husband swore by divorce, "If you do not go to my mother and kiss her head, you are divorced," and the wife did not go until the next day? And if he swore, "If you go to your sister's wedding, you are divorced," and the wife went? And if the husband said to his wife, "You are divorced," after she requested a divorce? And if the husband said, "By divorce, in two days I will send you your filthy paper"? And if the husband swore, "By triple divorce, it did not happen," while he knew that it had happened, and claimed that his intention was only to swear and not to divorce?

Excessive swearing is generally reprehensible, and the prohibition intensifies if the oath involves divorce (talaq).

The issues you mentioned, some are explicit divorce, some are conditional, and some are in the form of an oath:

1. Conditional Divorce (If you don't go... you are divorced): If the husband intended the divorce to occur absolutely if the action did not happen, then it does not occur because the condition was not met. If he intended for her to go immediately and she did not, then divorce occurs. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah and Ibn al-Qayyim held the view that regarding a conditional oath: if he intended divorce, then it is a divorce that occurs upon the fulfillment of the condition. If he intended prohibition and threat, then it is a conditional oath that requires an expiation for an oath (kaffarat yameen) upon its fulfillment. (If you go to your sister's wedding, you are divorced): According to the majority of scholars, divorce occurs if she disobeys his command. According to Ibn Taymiyyah and his student, it depends on his intention.

2. Explicit Divorce (You are divorced): Divorce occurs with this statement.

3. Oath in the Form of Divorce (I swear by divorce I will send you the paper): If he does not send it, he has broken his oath, and divorce has occurred according to the majority of scholars.

4. A False Oath of Divorce (I swear by divorce it wasn't like this, and he knows he is lying): The previous disagreement regarding the consequences of an oath of divorce applies here.

In summary: It is not permissible for you to allow him access to yourself before referring the matter to the judiciary, as a judge's ruling resolves disagreements.