What should a girl do when a young man, whom she deems suitable and who possesses good character and religious commitment, proposes to her, but her mother opposes their marriage due to social differences and threatens perpetual displeasure, especially since the girl has performed Istikhara (prayer for guidance) and feels that this person is her destiny, and she cites the Prophet's (peace and blessings be upon him) saying: "If there comes to you one whose religion and character you approve, then marry him; otherwise, there will be tribulation on earth and great corruption"?
Obeying one's mother takes precedence over marrying a specific person, because obedience to parents is obligatory, whereas marrying a specific person is not obligatory. And the obligatory takes precedence over the non-obligatory. To obtain sustenance and a righteous husband, one must obey Allah by honoring one's parents and supplicating to Allah, for honoring parents has been coupled with the command of monotheism. It is also advised to guide and counsel the mother.
Summarized from the full answer at Ftawy · reviewed Sep 2, 2026
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