Is it permissible for a non-working wife, whom her husband has prevented from working, to dispose of his money to help her needy father without his knowledge, and is it permissible for her to give her old clothes to her sister?

Your husband should have fulfilled his promise to help your father, for that is a sign of chivalry and good character. It is not permissible for a wife to dispose of her husband's money by giving charity to a relative or a stranger without his permission, except for a small amount that is customarily overlooked. In such a case, she receives half the reward, and her husband receives the other half. As for your private money, you may dispose of it by giving gifts and the like to your family. If they are in need, it is obligatory for you to spend on them if you have the means. You are not considered disobedient or a severer of ties if your inability to help is due to incapacity.