Is it permissible for a wife to take social security money designated for women abandoned by their husbands, even though her husband has not abandoned her, but he does not provide for her personal expenses, and this does not prevent her from disposing of it and giving charity from it?

If the mother does not meet the conditions for social security to receive the monthly payment, then she has no right to it. She must repent to Allah and return the amounts she took, or seek forgiveness from those whose money she took.

The obligatory maintenance upon the husband is what suffices for food, housing, and clothing. He is not obligated to give his wife an allowance beyond the obligatory maintenance.