Am I obligated to obey my family regarding their request for a large deferred dowry, or should I stand with the suitor who desires the dowry according to Islamic Sharia?

Among the signs of a blessed marriage are the facilitation of its affairs and the reduction of its Mahr (dowry). This was the guidance of the Companions and the Righteous Predecessors, and the Prophet, peace be upon him, facilitated the Mahrs of some of his Companions. Therefore, it is necessary to help reduce costs and extravagance in dowries, and to reduce the deferred Mahr (mu'akhkhar) if possible, provided this is done with the understanding of the family.