Did I err in asking my wife for financial help to renovate the house, and must I return it after she left the house, angry, for her family's home, taking all her belongings?

The wife is not obligated to provide for her husband or children; rather, the husband is responsible for their maintenance. The husband must be good to his wife and treat her well. The wife should know that her spending from her own money on her husband and children is considered a charity for which she will be rewarded, even though it is not obligatory for her, as Zaynab, the wife of Abdullah ibn Mas'ud, did.