Is the husband's statement to his wife, in a moment of anger and without intending divorce: "If you do this, you will not be my wife," considered a divorce, and what if the wife repeats the action in the future?

The wording to which the wife's divorce is linked is an allusion, not an explicit statement. An allusion does not effect a divorce without intention. Since you did not intend to effect a divorce, no divorce has occurred with this linkage, even if the wife does what was linked to it. You must turn away from obsessive thoughts and not give in to them.