Is it permissible to compel one's wife to reconcile with her father before Hajj?
Quarreling and fighting with one's father is a grave act of disobedience (ʿuqūq), one of the greatest major sins, and a cause of Allah’s displeasure. No matter how bad a father’s character becomes or how much he wrongs, his right to dutifulness (birr) does not fall away. Allah has commanded to accompany parents with kindness (bi’l-maʿrūf), even if they command shirk (polytheism). The husband has the right of qawamah (guardianship/maintenance) over his wife, and he must compel her to perform religious obligations and avoid prohibitions. Consequently, compelling the wife to reconcile with her father is part of the required qawamah. The husband must admonish her and remind her of the rights of her parents, the virtue of showing dutifulness to them, and the consequences of disobedience, using wisdom and kind words, while seeking Allah’s help.
Summarized from the full answer at Ftawy · reviewed Sep 2, 2026
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