Are we held accountable for negative feelings we have towards relatives who have wronged us, which are beyond our control?

There is no blame on someone who dislikes a relative who has wronged them and does not love them, as long as this does not lead to a forbidden act such as injustice or severance of ties. This is because love and hatred are matters of the heart over which a person usually has no control. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Allah has forgiven my Ummah for what their souls whisper to them, as long as they do not act upon it or speak of it."

However, a relative's wrongdoing does not permit severing ties with them, nor does it negate their right to kinship. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "The one who maintains ties of kinship is not the one who reciprocates, but the one who, when his kinship ties are cut, reconnects them."

Nevertheless, if maintaining ties with a relative results in certain harm, then there is no sin in severing ties. Ibn Abd al-Barr said: "They (scholars) have agreed that it is permissible to abandon someone for more than three days if speaking to them brings a deficiency to the speaker in their religion, or causes harm to them personally or in their worldly affairs. For often, a beautiful abandonment is better than a harmful association."

And whoever maintains ties with their wrongdoing relatives, Allah will help them against them and suffice them against their harm, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "If you are as you say, then it is as if you are feeding them hot ashes, and there will always be a supporter from Allah with you against them as long as you persist in that."