Is the husband's statement: "You got to know girls, so you started comparing; you will ruin our lives and have ruined them," considered a divorce, or a conditional divorce, and must the wife ask him about his intention?

Divorce (Talaq (definition)) only occurs through an explicit utterance that indicates it, or through an ambiguous expression (kinayah) — every word that indicates separation but is not explicit about it. The ambiguous expression does not constitute a divorce unless there is an intention to effect it. An explicit utterance causes divorce without the need for intention, whereas an ambiguous expression does not cause divorce unless it is intended. Consequently, divorce does not occur by what your husband uttered: "You will ruin our lives" or "You will ruin our lives and you have ruined them," because it does not indicate separation. Even if he uttered an ambiguous expression of divorce, you are not obligated to ask him about his intention.