How can one balance pleasing his father, who demands all his money, with securing his own future, knowing that the father does not spend the money on the household, but rather on his well-off mother and his other children, and is what the father spends considered charity?

If the father is in need of financial support, then the son must spend on him with what is reasonable and exceeds his basic needs. However, if the father is not in need, he has no right to his son's money according to the majority of scholars. Some scholars permit him to take from it on condition that he does not unduly diminish his son's wealth or take to give to another child.

Therefore, the son is not obligated to give his entire salary or inform his father of the amount of his wealth. He is permitted to save what he wishes for marriage expenses or business. As for what remains, it is preferable to maintain ties with the father through it, even if he is not in need. What is given to the grandmother and uncles may be counted as voluntary charity. Wisdom and tact should be employed when dealing with the father.