Is it true that the presence of non-essential household deficiencies prevents sending money to help relatives, as the wife claims based on a Hadith to that effect?

"It is sufficient sin for a person to neglect those he is responsible for; therefore, a person must begin by spending on those he is obliged to support, and then he may give charity to whomever he wishes, provided he has fulfilled his obligatory financial duties. Engaging in luxuries while there are needy people—especially if they are relatives—indicates a deficiency in the feeling of religious brotherhood."