How can one reconcile the hadiths that forbid associating with bad companions and the wicked, such as "Indeed, the example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the perfume seller and the blacksmith," and "When the Children of Israel fell into sins, their scholars forbade them, but they did not desist, so [the scholars] associated with them, ate with them, and drank with them...", and "Do not accompany anyone except a believer"; with the hadiths that encourage maintaining ties with those who sever them, such as "Maintain ties with those who cut you off" and "The one who maintains ties is not the one who merely reciprocates, but rather the one who, when his relatives cut him off, maintains ties with them," knowing that one who cuts off ties of kinship is wicked? And how can I maintain ties with someone who has cut me off and does not want [to reconcile], without humiliating myself, recalling the saying of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him: "It is not befitting for a believer to humiliate himself"?
The question comprises two parts: the first pertains to the definition of "silah" (maintaining ties), and the second relates to a Muslim debasing oneself.
Regarding the first part: "Silah" does not necessitate companionship or sitting together. Rather, it encompasses everything that custom considers to be a tie, such as visiting, giving gifts, and communicating.
Regarding the second part: A Muslim debasing oneself means exposing oneself to an unbearable affliction. Maintaining ties with a relative who cuts them off, even though it may be disliked by some or appear humiliating, is in reality an act of forgiveness, honor, and triumph over evil inclinations and selfish desires.
Summarized from the full answer at Ftawy · reviewed Sep 2, 2026
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