To what extent is it obligatory to consult the wife in everything?

The fundamental principle is that consultation is legally مطلوب (desirable/recommended) and is استحباب (recommended) between spouses to achieve marital happiness and family stability, especially in important matters such as marrying off daughters. This is based on the Prophet's (peace be upon him) saying: "Consult women regarding their daughters." This consultation is to gladden her heart and satisfy her, and it is for استحباب (recommendation), not for وجوب (obligation).