Is what happened in the questioner's life her destiny, or is it a result of her actions or weakness of character, especially after she was prevented from marrying and now suffers from spinsterhood and hates her family because of that?

Everything happens by divine decree and preordainment, and for a wisdom known only to Allah. Therefore, do not be displeased with what Allah has ordained for you, and be content with what He has allotted to you, for indeed, goodness lies in what the Almighty chooses. Allah tests His servants with health and sickness, wealth and poverty, children and barrenness, marriage and spinsterhood, to see which of them is best in deeds. And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know. Taking necessary means does not contradict contentment with divine decree.