Are the disagreements with my mother regarding marriage preparations, which range between what violates Islamic law and what is permissible but unsuitable for me, considered an act of disobedience (ʿuqūq), or do I have the right to choose what suits me?

Obedience to the mother is not obligatory in matters that contravene the Sharia, such as musical instruments and intermingling (free mixing), because obedience is only in what is good. Nor is her obedience obligatory in permissible matters where she has no valid purpose and which cause harm to the daughter. This is because obedience to parents applies to matters from which parents benefit and which do not harm the child. However, it is preferable to obey her in matters that do not contravene the Sharia and do not cause actual harm, while it remains obligatory to show filial piety to the mother and treat her kindly, both in word and deed.