Is it permissible to discuss the flaws of a girl and her family with one's own family when intending to propose to her, for the purpose of seeking their consultation and opinion?

Consultation in all matters is good and a cause for success. Engagement and marriage are among the most important matters that necessitate consultation, and family, especially parents, are the foremost people to consult. The general rule regarding mentioning the flaws of a prospective fiancée or her family is prohibition, as it constitutes forbidden backbiting. However, scholars have made an exception for cases where there is a need for consultation. Their evidence for this is the hadith of Fatima bint Qais (may Allah be pleased with her) when she sought the Prophet's (peace be upon him) advice regarding her engagement. It must be noted that what is permissible due to necessity should not exceed the extent of that necessity.