What should a wife do when her husband has not had intimate relations with her for three years, even though she has lost weight and adorns herself for him, and he tells her that she is beautiful and there is no one better than her, but he apologizes, citing fatigue from work? How can she obtain the love and intimacy that makes her feel beautiful and loved?

A wife's suffering from her husband's abandonment is painful. She may do without her material needs, but she cannot do without her husband for chastity and fulfilling her desires. It is incumbent upon a man to have marital relations with his wife in a good and honorable manner, and this is one of her most emphasized rights upon him, greater than providing her with food. It is obligatory at least once every four months, or according to her need and his ability. This is the sounder of the two opinions, and there is a reward in sexual intercourse.

If the wife has not fallen short in her duties, then she must ascertain two things:

1. There is no medical problem, whether psychological or physical, preventing the husband from intercourse. 2. All avenues for the husband to discharge his desires are blocked except through his wife. If he becomes accustomed to other ways (forbidden, such as masturbation or immorality, or permissible, such as non-intercourse acts), this weakens his desire to have intercourse with his wife. Everything that leads to this must be abandoned, and oral sex is a cause of the problem, not a solution to it.

If the husband's situation does not change after all efforts have been made, and he remains averse to preserving his wife's chastity, then the wife has the right to seek separation, and Allah may replace him with someone better. Annulment is permissible for a wife who is harmed by the cessation of intercourse, whether it is intentional on the husband's part or not, and whether he is capable or incapable.