What is the ruling on my refraining from visiting my family, and my wife refraining from visiting them, as a result of my father's continuous abuse towards me and my wife, and his significant attempts to interfere in my life?

It is obligatory for a Muslim to treat his father with kindness and to avoid harming him. What emanates from the father does not negate the obligation of showing him dutifulness. Obedience to parents is among the most obligatory duties in what is considered good and permissible. If the father commands something permissible — such as leaving a job with someone he dislikes and seeking another job — then the son must obey his commands, provided that no significant harm results from it. This is because obedience to parents in permissible matters is obligatory if abstaining from it leads to estrangement and cutting off kinship ties. However, if the father commands preventing the son and his wife from visiting his mother or siblings, or divorcing his wife, then obedience is not obligatory, as "there is no obedience to a creature in disobedience to the Creator."