What is the ruling regarding a righteous and committed girl, who rejects uncommitted suitors, proposing to a committed young man she knows through a direct text message, without an intermediary, to avoid embarrassment and revealing the secret? What is the opinion of Islamic law on this action? How does a man view a woman who proposes marriage to him? And what advice is offered to her?
It is neither forbidden nor shameful for a woman to offer herself in marriage to a righteous man. Righteous women have done so, among them the woman who offered herself to the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him.
Regarding the method of offering marriage, it is advised not to send direct messages. It is better to convey the news to him indirectly through a third party or an unknown number, so that the message comes from someone who knows both parties and advises him not to let her go, in order to avoid embarrassment and fitna (temptation/strife). It is also recommended to perform Istikhara (prayer for guidance) before taking any step.
Summarized from the full answer at Ftawy · reviewed Sep 2, 2026
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