Is it permissible for a young man to give in charity from his surplus money while taking from his father’s money for marriage expenses, and is the father obligated to equalize his other children in these expenses?

The rulings regarding nikah (marriage) vary. It may be obligatory for someone who fears falling into sin (due to strong sexual desire), desirable for someone who is secure from committing haram (unlawful acts), and permissible for someone who has no desire.

If nikah is not obligatory for you, then there is no harm in delaying it and giving charity from your salary. However, if it is obligatory and you know that your father will cover its expenses, then give charity with the surplus from your salary, but do not delay the marriage.

It is obligatory for a father to marry off his son if the son is in need and unable to bear the expenses. This is considered a form of maintenance, for which justice among children is not required. However, if you are able to cover the costs of marriage, then what the father gives you is considered a gift, in which he is obliged to be just by giving your sister half of what he gave you, and giving your younger brother the same amount as you.

Summary: Giving charity is permissible for you, and you are not required to inform your father about it. Regarding what your father pays for your marriage expenses: if you possess wealth, it is a gift for which he must be just; if you do not possess wealth, it is considered maintenance.