Is it obligatory for a pilgrim performing Hajj at-Tamattu‘ who is unable to offer a sacrifice to fast the three days during Hajj before the Day of ‘Arafah or after it, and should it be after or before exiting the state of ihram?

If your father suffers from urinary incontinence, he should secure a cloth or similar over the affected area, if that does not harm him. He should perform ablution after the time for prayer has begun and pray the obligatory prayer and any voluntary prayers he wishes with this ablution until the time for prayer expires. He should perform as much as he can of the conditions and pillars of prayer, and what he is unable to do is waived for him.

As for fasting the three days during Hajj for someone who cannot find a sacrificial animal, it is permissible to fast them after entering into ihram for Umrah. Some say it is permissible after exiting ihram from Umrah, and some say after entering into ihram for Hajj, which is more cautious. It is recommended that the last of these days be the Day of Arafah, and some say the Day of Tarwiyah. The time of permissibility begins with entering into ihram for Umrah, and the time of recommendation is between entering into ihram for Hajj and the Day of Arafah.

As for fasting during the Days of Tashreeq for someone who cannot find a sacrificial animal, there is a difference of opinion among scholars. What is narrated from Aisha and Ibn Umar is its permissibility, and avoiding disagreement is preferable.