Which is better, Islamically and practically, to avoid falling into sin: engagement for a year, then the marriage contract and consummation; or engagement, then the marriage contract three months before consummation, then consummation; or the marriage contract for a year, then consummation, without engagement? And what is the family's stance on these options, especially given past transgressions such as looking with pleasure, words of love, and touching hands before the contract?
The suitor is a stranger to his fiancée; therefore, it is not permissible for him to shake her hand, or to look at her with pleasure, or to be alone with her, or to speak to her with words of love. However, Islamic law permits him to look at her during the engagement without lust or seclusion. Any transgressions in dealing with the fiancée are reprehensible. It is advisable to conduct the marriage contract immediately or shortly after the engagement for those who cannot control themselves, as the husband, after the contract, is permitted what is permissible for spouses. It is permissible to delay consummation after the marriage contract according to the circumstances of the couple. The important thing is to avoid falling into prohibitions by expediting the contract for those who cannot control themselves during the engagement period.
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