What should a girl do if she admires a religious and well-mannered young man and wants him as a husband? Is it permissible for her to show her admiration for him, hint at it, or look at him to attract his attention? Or is an intermediary necessary, following the example of Lady Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her)? Does the method differ with the change of times? And what should a girl who lowers her gaze do if she notices a religious and well-mannered young man looking at her frequently? Should she look back at him to show acceptance, or is that an entryway for Satan, and it is more proper for him to propose to her directly?
A girl who loves a young man must keep herself chaste and avoid what Allah has forbidden. It is permissible for her to offer herself to him for marriage under legitimate Sharia conditions, even without an intermediary if she cannot find one. However, it is preferable for her not to pursue the relationship if she does not expect his acceptance or fears a long wait. In such cases, she must stay away from him and lower her gaze, as this is an obligation to close the door to temptation.
Summarized from the full answer at Ftawy · reviewed Sep 2, 2026
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