What can I do to convince my wife to stay home and care for our child, given her strong refusal to do so and her giving me the choice between misery or separation?

It is obligatory for the wife to obey her husband as long as it does not involve disobedience to Allah. Her obedience to him takes precedence over obedience to her parents, because his right over her is greater. He, in turn, must fulfill her rights. If the husband orders his wife to stop working, she must obey him, even if the work is permissible. If she does not, she is disobedient and recalcitrant. Both spouses are advised to communicate and reach a compromise with kindness, avoiding stinginess. Marital life is a solemn covenant that should not be abandoned at the first disagreement.