Is the girl whom the questioner loves considered unsuitable for him, after he supplicated that God not bless him with a righteous wife if he were to repeat masturbating, and then he repeated it?

"Waswas (obsessive whispering) is an affliction through which Allah expiates sins and elevates ranks. Treatment for waswas is possible, and it is not permissible to supplicate harm upon oneself. Masturbation is forbidden. The fear of previous supplications being answered does not justify abandoning the Sunnah of marriage. It is advisable to propose to a religiously devout and well-mannered girl, after performing Istikhara (prayer for guidance)."