What should I do about wishing evil upon myself inwardly without uttering it aloud?

We advise the questioner to occupy their mind with beneficial interests and lofty matters, and to wish for the betterment of both this world and the Hereafter, based on the Prophet's (peace be upon him) saying: "If one of you wishes for something, let him wish for much, for he is asking his Lord."

One must avoid wishing for evil and thinking about sins or the attractions of non-mahram women. Allah has forgiven His servant for what he thinks to himself, as long as he does not speak of it or resolve to act upon it, based on the hadith: "Indeed, Allah has forgiven my Ummah for what they think to themselves, as long as they do not act upon it or speak of it."

However, if one resolves to act upon it, it is a metaphorical form of zina (adultery/fornication), as in the hadith: "Indeed, Allah has decreed for the son of Adam his share of zina, which he will inevitably attain. The zina of the eyes is looking, the zina of the tongue is speaking, and the soul wishes and desires."

One must distract themselves from such thoughts by reflecting on the rewards of the people of Paradise and the lives of the righteous predecessors, increasing in good deeds, sitting with righteous people, consistently praying in congregation, and being wary of idleness.