What is the Sharīʿah's view on a husband's decision not to approach his wife unless she requests it, and is this considered īlāʾ? What is the ruling on his masturbating when in need, and what general advice is there for him?

The wife sins by disobeying her husband and refusing his bed. She is obligated to obey her husband in this regard, due to the saying of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him: "If I were to command anyone to prostrate to other than Allah the Almighty, I would have commanded the woman to prostrate to her husband. By Him in Whose Hand is the soul of Muhammad, a woman does not fulfill the right of her Lord until she fulfills the entire right of her husband, even if he asks for herself while she is on a camel saddle, she should not refuse him." And his saying: "If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning."

The husband, in turn, must observe his wife's rights and treat her kindly. If the wife insists on disobedience, she is treated as a rebellious wife (nashiz).

The husband's failure to have intercourse with his wife is not considered ila', because ila' requires swearing by Allah or by one of His attributes not to have intercourse with the wife for more than four months, which has not occurred here.

As for masturbation, the described situation of the husband is not one of the circumstances in which it is permissible.