Is what comes to the heart of pain regarding the image of women in Islam considered disbelief (kufr), and does God hold a servant accountable for a feeling they do not control?

Natural aversion does not contradict legal acceptance. Just as disobedience can be naturally loved but legally rejected, obedience can be naturally disliked but legally accepted. Belief in Allah is based on the conviction of His perfection, justice, and wisdom, and His transcendence above imperfection and injustice, in His actions and His legal and predetermined decrees. Whoever is certain of this finds peace in their heart and is content with Allah as Lord, and with Muhammad (peace be upon him) as Prophet and Messenger, and comprehends the taste of faith. As for those who are not certain of this, they possess characteristics of hypocrisy, for true believers, when called to Allah and His Messenger to judge between them, say, "We hear and we obey."