How can I deal with my mother-in-law who doesn't reciprocate my love and attention, is very critical of me and others, especially my family, and sometimes goes as far as backbiting and insulting, knowing that her criticism has become more severe after the death of my husband's father?

First: It is necessary to understand the differences in human natures and to show consideration for the elderly, especially when dealing with the wife's mother. This relationship requires patience and wisdom. With wisdom, problems can be avoided, and the satisfaction of the husband's family and the husband himself can be gained. Wisdom necessitates kind words, praise, and gifts. Serving her is not obligatory in Islamic law, but it is commendable and a sign of good companionship towards the husband.

Second: She must be advised to abandon backbiting. If she persists, it is not permissible to sit with her; rather, one must leave her gathering. Participating with her in backbiting is a sin. If you remain with her while she is in that state, you are a partner with her in sin.

Third: The wife has the right to an independent home and privacy, and the husband is not being disobedient to his mother if he does so. The husband must understand the reality of his wife's situation with his mother, take the initiative to solve household problems, and communicate openly. He is obligated to honor his parents, treat his wife kindly, and raise his children.