Is what happened considered a legitimate entry, and is the judge's ruling correct?

It is permissible for a man to enjoy his wife after a valid marriage contract. If enjoyment occurs without seclusion (khalwa) or intercourse, and then he divorces her, she is not entitled to the full mahr (dowry) and is not required to observe the 'idda (waiting period) according to the majority of jurists. As for the judge's ruling, if he commanded your wife to obey you, otherwise she would be considered defiant (nashiz), then his ruling is correct.