What is the ruling on heavy-handed jesting that involves repeated taunting about something that happened in the past, and does that fall under forbidden backbiting?

Joking between spouses, if it adheres to the parameters of the Sharia, is good. Through it, affection is gained, and the relationship between them is improved, which in turn reflects on the stability of the family. The Prophet used to joke with his companions and wives without excess; he would joke but only speak the truth.

As for blameworthy joking, it is that which involves excess or deficiency, such as including what is forbidden by Sharia. Such joking has bad consequences. Al-Nawawi said: "The forbidden joking is that which involves excess and is continuously practiced, for it leads to laughter and hardness of heart, distracts from the remembrance of Allah Almighty and from contemplating the important matters of religion, and often results in harm, generates grudges, and diminishes awe and dignity."

Therefore, it is not the husband's right for his joking to include taunting and mockery. The advice to the wife is to counsel her husband gently and kindly, remind him of the need for intimacy and affection, not that which brings hatred and animosity, and to pray for him frequently.