Is a wife rewarded for spending on her husband and children, and what should she do to deal with her suffering from the circumstances of her new life?

Divorce is not recommended unless its harms are less than remaining with the husband. Your spending on your husband and children is a righteous deed. Intention (niyyah) should precede or accompany the action. Some scholars hold that a Muslim is rewarded for good deeds without a specific intention, suffice it that he intends good and obedience to Allah. However, consciously bringing the intention to mind when spending and performing righteous deeds is better and leads to greater reward.