What is the meaning of the feeling of extreme comfort and acceptance towards the suitor despite the difficulties and separation, and what do you do about this persistent feeling and the desire to return? And what is the reason for intense crying and clenching of hands during Ruqyah Sharia?

The questioner's feelings towards the suitor do not necessarily mean that there is good in her marrying him. If the suitor is a man of religion and good character, there is no objection for the questioner to offer herself to him again. If he agrees, she should perform the Istikhara prayer concerning him. The essence of Istikhara is to entrust the matter to Allah so that He may choose what is best. It is performed by praying two cycles (rak'ahs) of voluntary prayer, followed by a specific supplication. If the marriage is good, Allah will facilitate it; otherwise, there should be no regret over its loss, for Allah may replace him with someone better. As for what she experiences during ruqyah, it may indicate magic or the evil eye, so she must continue with ruqyah, remembrance of Allah (dhikr), recitation of the Quran, and supplication.