Do a wife's engaging in a phone relationship with a young man and her secretly smoking constitute a grave transgression that permits depriving her of some of what she has been given? Is it permissible to send her away to her family's house if her disobedience recurs without following the Sharia-prescribed steps? And what should be done if it becomes clear that she is feigning obedience merely to bide time until her family approves her return?

Disobeying her husband – especially regarding the marital bed – is forbidden for the wife. She must fear Allah, repent to Him, obey her husband in what is right, treat him well, not supplicate against him unjustly, and safeguard him in herself and his property. Her seeking divorce without a valid excuse is an act of disobedience.

The husband, in turn, must keep his wife with kindness, and not hold her accountable for what she has repented from, nor pursue her missteps. Rather, he should treat her based on what is apparent and have a good opinion of her, and not harbor ill will towards her or lie in wait for her mistakes to wrong her. He must either keep her with kindness or release her with goodness.

If the wife commits a clear obscenity – whether it is adultery, defiance, disobedience, or foul language – the husband has the right to treat her harshly (to restrict her) until she redeems herself by returning the mahr (dowry) he gave her or absolving him from the deferred dowry. He does not have the right to expel her from the house, because expulsion from the house upon committing obscenity is specific to a divorced woman during her iddah (waiting period). As for a wife under his marital bond, she is entitled to housing, and it is not permissible to expel her except in the case of defiance (nushooz), at which point her maintenance and housing rights are forfeited.