Are the fluctuations I experience in my commitment to worship, and my ceasing to fast and pray after a period of obedience, along with my feelings of distress and self-loathing, proof that I have been expelled from Allah's mercy? And how can I compensate for my past disobedience, please Allah, and enter into His mercy, especially with my sense of approaching death and fear of dying in a state of disobedience?

The door of repentance is open and will not be closed to anyone until the sun rises from the west. Allah's forgiveness is broader and His mercy is more encompassing. He, the Almighty, says: "Say, 'O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.'" And the one who repents from a sin is like one who has no sin. The remedy is to initiate sincere repentance that fulfills its conditions and pillars: remorse for shortcomings, determination not to return to sins, immediately abandoning them, sincerity to Allah, and seeking His help for steadfastness. And no matter how many times a sin is repeated, repeat repentance, and do not despair of Allah's mercy. The reason for returning to disobedience is surrendering to the whisperings of Satan, so seek Allah's help in repelling his schemes, constantly seek refuge from him, and adhere to the means of steadfastness upon righteousness: persistent supplication, attending gatherings of remembrance (dhikr), keeping the company of the righteous, continuous reflection on the Afterlife, and reflection on the names and attributes of the Lord, the Exalted.