Is a husband's refusal of his wife's request to uncover her hair and dance on their wedding night considered harshness or control, and what is the correct Islamic dress for this night, and what are the rights of each spouse over the other?

Islam has permitted the beating of the duff (tambourine) and the recitation of poetry—even if it contains amorous verses—at wedding feasts. However, the mixing of non-mahram men and women or the uncovering of awrah (private parts) is not permissible. What the questioner did by rejecting the reprehensible act is correct; it is not harshness, but rather good for the wife. The husband has rights over his wife, including: obedience in what is good, not allowing anyone he dislikes into his home, enabling him to be intimate with her, safeguarding his honor with regard to herself, and disciplining her according to Shari'ah. The wife also has rights over her husband, which are: the mahr (dowry) and maintenance according to what is customary, and the right to good marital relations.