How can one deal with a violent, neglectful, and irreligious husband, while there are mutual feelings of admiration with another person, and what is the way to get rid of depression and feelings of unhappiness?
We advise you to come to an understanding with your husband and counsel him to treat you kindly, to observe prayers at their appointed times, and to seek the help of some righteous people to advise him. You must treat him kindly and fulfill his rights, and beware of mixing with non-mahram men, for piety requires lowering the gaze and observing the hijab. Beware of the whisperings of Satan that you do not feel love for your husband, for this is a false claim. If you fear that you cannot fulfill his rights, then you may seek divorce or khula'. The stability of married life may require patience, overlooking faults, and focusing on the good aspects of the other party's character, for love is not a condition for building and stabilizing homes. As Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, said: "Not all homes are built on love, but on companionship based on lineage and Islam."
Summarized from the full answer at Ftawy · reviewed Sep 2, 2026
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