What should I do about feeling like a low priority in my husband's life, and his neglect of me and my rights as a second wife and mother of his child, especially with his long stays with his first wife, his preference for her in housing and expenses, his fear of her anger, and his failure to prepare my own home?

The husband must be just among his wives in providing maintenance and in dividing his time. The obligation of equal division of time does not fall away if the two wives are in different countries. Rather, the husband must be just between them, either by going to the absent wife during her allotted days, or by bringing her to him so that they may be together in one country. If this is not possible, then he should divide the time according to what is feasible, such as a month for one and a month for the other, or more, or less, depending on the proximity or distance of the two countries.

If a wife fears ill-treatment or desertion from her husband, she may waive some of her rights to division of time or maintenance so that he does not divorce her. Allah Almighty says: "And if a woman fears ill-treatment or desertion from her husband, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of peace between themselves; and peace is better."

It must be noted that for a husband to take out an interest-based loan to buy a house is a great sin, for usury is among the gravest of forbidden acts. It is not permissible to engage in it except in cases of extreme necessity where there is a fear of perishing, and buying a house is not considered among such necessities.