Is the value of forgiveness and its reward affected when the one who forgives is negatively affected, and do negative feelings toward the offender diminish the reward of forgiveness and reconciliation?

What the questioner did, in terms of forgiveness and overlooking, is among the most resolute of matters, as it aligns with the ethics of Islam commanded by Allah and His Messenger. Forgiveness increases one in honor, and it is the characteristic of prophets and messengers. True strength lies in restraining the soul from anger and revenge. The distress in the questioner's heart does not negate her reward, and she should seek refuge with Allah from the whispers of Satan.