Is it permissible for me to seek a divorce from my husband—knowing that he cares for his children and refuses to return to a Muslim Arab country, citing expenses, while he sends money to his family there despite their comfortable financial situation—considering his shortcomings in fulfilling my rights, depriving me of recreation, the lack of affection and mercy in his treatment, and his control over all my affairs, which has led me to despise him, along with my fear for the children and the possibility of self-fulfillment after separation?

The method of demanding needs should be gradually changed, starting with asking for simple, inexpensive things, while being careful to thank the husband and appreciate his attention. As for the husband's spending on his family, it should be viewed from other angles. This spending may bring blessings upon the wife and family, and it is a way of maintaining kinship ties and drawing closer to Allah. It may also be a cause for an increase in sustenance, for Allah Almighty says: (And whatever you spend of anything, He will compensate it; and He is the best of providers). A husband's spending on his family indicates his dutifulness, generosity, and good character, and maintaining kinship ties carries great reward. The husband is not to be blamed for this as long as he does not fall short in his obligatory spending, and it is not wrong for him to spend on his relatives who are not poor. Spending should be balanced, while fulfilling the rights of the wife and children through understanding and persuasion, not through discord. The option of separation is tragic, for there is no home free of troubles and problems, and one should strive to fix what can be fixed and endure what cannot be avoided.